Kjell Vandevyvere
Photo by Austin Neill on Unsplash

In the past year, I made many things happen.

But at the same time, I was running away from life. I was always staying busy. Hustling, as they say.

Every dead moment was spent creating, building an audience and checking in on Twitter.

I made free products, created ebooks, wrote newsletters, produced a podcast, build a few websites, tweeted on Twitter, posted on Instagram, shared things on Medium etc.

To some, all these efforts may look like success. I went from 55 followers to over 2k on Twitter. I also made $500 in online sales.

And there was some other real success: I talked to incredible people, and got better freelancing jobs.

But actually, this year was a bit of a failure.

Why?

Because I didn’t find time to read what I wanted to read. I didn’t have time for sports or meditation. Whenever I was with my daughter, I felt like a had to get back to work.

I always felt like I needed to do more. Influence more, build more, create more, hustle more.

More more more.

Well, I got more weight because I didn't do sports and didn’t have time to eat healthily…

And when I found time to relax, it was time spent relaxing with family. I felt guilty for always being away so I always rested with them.

This means I rarely rested alone and hence rarely rested well.

And if I did have an empty moment in which all my projects were “finished” and all my notifications “checked”, I had to read a book for my podcast.

No, it wasn’t a success.

I worked hard to get passive income, hoping to enjoy life later. So I can travel later. So I can relax later. So I can read all the books I want to read later.

But why do something at the cost of my current life? There’s little time to relax. I’m always comparing. And there’s no time to do what I want to do:

Read, run, relate, relax.

It always reminds me of the businessman and fisherman, a story by Coelho.

And even while I’m writing this I feel pretty stupid.

Instead of relaxing or reading, I’m writing again.

But at least I feel more focused.

Instead of more and more, I just want one thing: One high-quality post per week. In the end, that’s still 52 in a year.

Digital copywriter (https://kjellv.com) & podcaster (https://coffeeandpens.com) who writes about freelancing, the creator economy and personal development.